


Hydration

by amuk



Category: Free!
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Separations, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1762875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru's been drowning for years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hydration

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Day 9 // there is thunder in our hearts
> 
> A/N: The ending needs a little work. :/ I can’t quite figure out what’s missing. This takes place pre-series, mostly.  
> Anyways, this is inspired by Bombshell’s and Aqua girl’s conversation in Teen Titans. :D

He remembers this instant the clearest—the gap between the dive and the first stroke. The length of a breath and the span of a wink is how long it lasts.

 

It might as well be eternity.

 

In front of him, the water sings, the path of the others easy to find.

 

Without hesitation, he follows it.

 

-x-

 

The water still sings, loudly, cheerfully.

 

He covers his ears and shuts his eyes.

 

-x-

 

“You’re not coming?” Nagisa stares at him, his eyes wide. “Haru, you even came when you were sick.”

 

“I can’t,” he answers, the words sticking in his throat like glue.

 

“You don’t look sick.” Nagisa inspects his body, poking his muscles. “Nothing’s broken.”

 

Makoto watches Haru quietly. “Will you swim next week?”

 

It’s a simple question.

 

He chokes on the yes. “I can’t.”

 

“And after?” Makoto’s voice is gentle, the lull of the tide. Haru almost leans against him as usual, almost lets him absorb the shame and guilt like a sponge.

 

The memory of Rin’s face, the broken angles and salt tears, surfaces. A frustrated cry, a destroyed dream.

 

“I can’t,” he repeats.

 

Makoto looks sad but nods. There’s something akin to understanding in his expression, though he can’t possibly know of the race. Resigned, he replies. “Okay then.”

 

“What?” Nagisa stares at them both, his head turning from one to the other. “We need to practice.

 

“Later.” Makoto pulls Nagisa away, waving to Haru. “I’ll see you Monday then.”

 

-x-

 

He dreams of it often, the thrill of that first race. The excitement of the last. His skin hot despite the cool water, his arms slicing through the liquid.

 

Voices are yelling, cheering. The words blend as he turns, the only sight a goal. He only pays attention to the draw of his breath, the ragged release of it as he surfaces.

 

Only this moment exists. The turn from one arm to the other, the swift kick of his feet. The splashes in the corner of his eyes.

 

His hands touch the wall and he wakes up.

 

-x-

 

Makoto never asks about it again. He doesn’t question the water or the swimming trunks, the obsession with fish.

 

He says nothing and something in Haru calms down. Rests. The nets close around him and he doesn’t struggle anymore.

 

“I’m not swimming either,” Makoto answers Haru’s unasked question. “There are exams and my siblings—I just don’t have the time anymore.”

 

A lie. He shouldn’t be happy about this but he smiles anyways.

 

The solitude of the land is not his alone anymore.

 

-x-

 

In small tub, Haru is in the ocean. He’s a merman swimming through the seas, a fish in a lake. There is nothing but open sea.

 

He sinks to the bottom, to the sandy floor of the ocean. The light seeps from the top, bright colours that mean nothing to him anymore.

 

The water, it calls to him. Calls him back.

 

He opens his mouth to reply and drowns in oxygen as he opens his eyes to his room.

 

-x-

 

It’s a secret, his to carry alone. The shame and guilt of that winter day. The broken promises.

 

All of it, Haru’s to bear. An anchor is tied to his feet, rooting him to the seabed. And even Makoto can’t help ease the burden.

 

“A competition,” Rin says. “A match.”

 

There’s a tremor, an earthquake.

 

“Swimming. You against me.”

 

The chains loosen and Haru can move his feet.

 

-x-

 

Rin smirks at him, all teeth and hard edges. The ghost of the boy he used to be stands there, next to him. Soft and round and so easily pierced.

 

Haru can’t stop staring. At Rin, the pool. At all of it.

 

The water’s voice is muted, softer now. Something lacking, but there’s no time to think about it before the bell goes.

 

“I’ll win,” Rin declares, on the edge of the diving board. The water sings a little at this, but still, it’s not right.

 

Haru doesn’t answer, his body sliding into a long forgotten routine. His toes touch the rough board, his knees bend slightly, and somewhere a bell goes off.

 

He dives, sliding through the water as he sinks into the pool.  Inside him, something ticks and that first breath of water tells him everything.

 

Haru’s been drowning for years and it’s only now his lungs fill.


End file.
